One year on…
Things I’ve learnt, things
I haven’t.
13. Japanese is
difficult. I have been trying, I really have, but if we’re honest with
ourselves and the world, Japanese is a language that, in my humble opinion,
only those who have brains the size of Uranus are able to learn. I’ve given it
my best shot, but I unfortunately I do not possess the aforementioned size of
brain. My brain rather more resembles a fairly mouldy old kitchen sponge that
smells funny and no one wants to use anymore. Ergo, Japanese skills = lacking,
at best.
12. My flat really
isn’t that bad. When I first moved into my one room abode, I confess, I cried.
It was the day after my birthday, the apparent theme for the whole room was
grey, and I managed to walk from one end to the other in 6 steps…the long way.
BUT, actually, really, let’s be honest with ourselves, it’s all the space I
need. Yes, it would be nice to have a separate living room; it would be lovely
to have a kitchen bigger than a postcard; it would be really rather fabulous to
have my fridge, oven and laundry basket not in my bedroom, but we can’t have
everything. Equipped with a bloody great red rug and photos galore, I’ve turned
my grey box in to a room fit for, well, for me. Added benefit, it stops be
buying every piece of novelty crap I coo over from the 100\ shop. Hoarding
limit well and truly reached.
11. I like fish much
more than I’d realized. I’ve always had a penchant for the slippery beasts (I’m
talking about fish here, boys and girls, calm down) but Japan does
know how to make the most of its seafood. So fresh, so delicious and so
abundant, I am in sushi heaven.
10. I’m not a very
good cyclist. Now I’ve never been the most graceful, or balanced girl in the
group, but I hadn’t realized quite how clumsy I was until I had to cycle to
school every day. Great for the legs, not so great when one’s spatial awareness is all but nil. I’ve been hit
by a car, followed by the police, stopped by the police, slipped on ice, run
over a rat and somersaulted into a rice paddy. When I asked my students if they’d
ever fallen off their bikes, the resounding response was ‘no’ followed by looks
of disgust.
9. Having said that,
the Japanese have to be the worst drivers known to man. Let’s not stop
at that red light then, shall we?
8. When it rains, it pours. Never have I
used that phrase so literally. On my first day in Koshigaya, sweating in my
‘smart clothes’ and trying to retain some semblance of being a normal human
being in front of my newly acquired bosses, what felt like the contents of a
whole reservoir descended upon us for about 10 seconds. Freak rain showers,
typhoons, rainy seasons….Britain claims to be a damp and rainy country, well
prepare to have met your match: Japan.
7. I’ve come to
appreciate western food SO much more. I can go on all day about how good the
sushi is here, how I’ve fallen in love with gyoza, and how udon acts as my food
equivalent to crack, but boy, there are some serious cheffing issues that need
to be seen to when it comes to Western food over here. I really just don’t know
where to start, the price of good wine and cheese is astronomical, all pasta
dishes usually look the same and don’t get me STARTED on the size of a portion
of Fish and Chips; a squirrel would still be left hungry…
6. I’m not a fan of
temples. They’re impressive, inspiring, pretty…I get it, but I just don’t care.
I enjoy a good prolonged glance at a temple, appreciate that it’s there and
that it’s very Japanese, but stand around for half an hour looking at every
single one? I don’t think so, time to move on chaps, where’s my gin and tonic.
5. They know how to
do their festivals. There seem to be festivals all year round in Japan,
and with summer rearing its head, we can expect many, many more. Organisation
here is paramount, and the Japanese have got this down to a T. On the day of
the festival, streets will be bursting with temporary food stalls, floats,
fairground games, crowds of people and you’re struggling to walk faster than an
elderly slug. However, as soon as the whole shindig is over, there is not a
trace left in sight. I’ve never seen such organized fun be packed up and
cleaned after so quickly. Kudos Japan.
4. One of my most
surprising discoveries is that everyone I meet is just so incredibly helpful.
Any question I ask at school is usually followed up by googled print outs of
information that may or may not be crucial, but they will have spent ages looking
for it. If you happen to look lost at a station, usually someone will attempt
their shoddy English to help you out. Need directions somewhere? Just ask
anyone, especially shop assistants, and it’s more than likely that you will be
escorted to wherever you want to be.
3. To bring out yet
another overused phrase: teaching Japanese students is like getting blood out
of a stone. I have never met such a shy group of 16-18 year olds. When trying
to remember the shy students when I was at school, I’m pretty sure that there
was a least a little ounce of pluck in them, so that when asked a question by
the teacher, they wouldn’t resort to soiling themselves.
2. Cue another ‘having
said that…’ when you do come across those students who realize that
English isn’t the language of the devil, suddenly all becomes bright and cheery
and just as I had pictured my life as an assistant language teacher before I
came out to Japan…all zippedydoodahdey-y and as though you’re making some sort
of difference.
1. To end with the
holiest of holies, I have discovered my new favourite drink. Get ready for some
blaspheming boys and girls…move over red wine, get to the back gin and tonic,
there’s a new kid on the block: UMESHU. I cannot tell you just how dericious
this plum wine really is. I’m sure I’ve mentioned it many times before, but I
don’t care. This is truly the stuff of the Gods. Add a couple of rocks of ice,
and I can sup this everyday for the rest of my life. Which is exactly what I
intend to do.
