If I drinked drug then, I would feel up now.

With the days getting shorter, and the weather deciding that sometimes it’ll give our sweat glands a break and cool us down a little with a typhoon, I’ve been taking myself and my future into hand. After one year in Japan, I’ve toyed with a few different career choices, and I feel it’s probably the perfect time to share them with you. Any feedback is more than welcome.

12. English teacher: Now this one seems obvious, as it’s what I am actually doing, right now, as an adult, in Japan. The only thing is, I’m not quite sure how many more students falling asleep in my class I can actually handle. Now, you’ll be thinking that I must be an incredibly boring teacher; not to blow my own trumpet, but I’m not, funnily enough, or am I? Teaching has its moments, for example, running in sports day, students declaring their love for me, and my recent personal favourite, all the students deciding that I look like Milla Jovovich. Those are all definite plus points, but only for a couple of years, dear friends, onwards and upwards.

11. Pub owner: Some of you may have heard tale of a jolly spiffing pub quiz that takes places in the inner reaches and darkest depths of Saitama. It has also been known to be said that post-quiz antics lead to memory loss and a karaoke induced rasping sore throat the next morning. I take full responsibility for all of the above. Yes, I am Master of the pub quiz; surely I’d be able to run a pub, non?

10. Canyoning Guide: One weekend in Gunma, slipping, sliding, jumping and flipping off waterfalls and I’ve decided that I could do it. Not just for fun, but I could also take responsibility for other people’s lives as they stumble through fast flowing, ice cold water…sure.

9. Diplomat / International Relations: This one is actually semi-serious. Plans are afoot to try and get onto an IR masters in Holland, so any advice, tips and general handy tit bits of knowledge would be more than appreciated. Arigatou.

8. Geisha / Maiko fan dancer: One of the very sporadically attended club activities that I grace with my presence at school. Initially I thought that I was oozing grace, elegance and poise as I whipped my fan round in an incredibly authentically Japanese fashion. Video playback revealed that actually I looked more akin to a potbelly pig posing as a swan. Needless to say, I shall not be pursuing this one any time soon.

7. University Interviewer: I don’t want to be a lecturer, professor, or anything like that, but recently I posed as a university entrance interviewer person at a local university. What could be more fun than putting (actually quite attractive) male peers under pressure? Not much, is the answer.

6. Singer: I always come back to this one, and repeated trips to karaoke leave it unabated. My time will come, one day, some day…probably not. But, I can crack out a good ‘And IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIeeeIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII, will always love yooooouuuu’ as well as the next person.

5. Pilot: Everyone’s considered it, come on, don’t lie. Next stop: Delusion city.

4. Professional cyclist: As I zoom past all my students, and that one really old crinkly looking chap that I always see, on my 10 minute cycle in to work every day, I’ve become utterly convinced that I could win the Tour De France.

3. Driving instructor: Everyone in Japan is a bad driver. FACT. I’ve rolled a car, dented my mother’s, taken 10 minutes to parallel park into a space big enough for a fleet of Boeing 747s, and attended a traffic light awareness course, and yet I could still teach folks out here a thing or two. You have to drive on the left, THE LEFT.

2. Professional footballer: Having taken part in not one, but two ‘All Japan ALT Football Tournaments,’ I think it’s pretty safe to say that I could dominate the world of women’s football. As a defender for the newly formed ‘Saitama Saiborgs,’ we placed a very respectable 4^th *cue cheers, whoops and claps* (out of 6 teams). I am currently planning the compulsory footballers unique haircut, wait for more details TBA.

1. Florist: As an avid member of the ‘furawaa arenjimento curabbu’ – flowering arranging club, to you and me, I could most definitely deck the halls with boughs of holly and falalala any other event that needed some square shape, spray shape, or triangular shape arrangements. I’m in correspondence with Pippa Middleton about writing a new book that will ever so elegantly infuse our skills so that you lucky chaps at home can organise the most stylish of parties, with the most jaw-dropping of arrangements. Yet another TBA to keep your eye out for.

So, where does that leave us? I’ve got no idea…HELP ME!